"The Star Titness"... I mean Witness!

A Work In Undress
(I mean progress)



Sergeant Peterson took one last look into the hotel room, then shut the door and turned to an obviously distracted Detective Wilkins.

“Sir, is it true what they’re saying down at the precinct?”

“What are they saying?”

“That she saw her husband hacked up with a meat cleavage.”

“Cleaver?”

“Right. Cleaver.”

"That’s right, Wilkins. The killer’s on the loose and she’s our only witness, so make sure you garter - I mean guard her carefully."

"Yes, sir. I'll do my breast. I mean best!"

"I know you will, Wilkins. You've never been negligee in your boobies."

"Sir?"

"Duties! Negligent in your duties."

"Oh. Spank you, sir. I mean thank you, sir."

"You're on your own until midnight, so keep your thighs -I mean eyes peeled, and make sure you call for backside - I mean backup if you see anyone lingerieing about."

"Uh, lingering, sir?"

"Yes, lingering."

Sergeant Patterson heaved a sigh, removed his hat, and wiped his sweaty brow.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go masturbate."

"Sir?"

"You heard me."

Create Your Own South Park Character

This site features a fun, easy to use Flash animation tool that allows you to quickly create your own South Park character that looks remarkably like something that would have appeared on the show. You just point and click to choose eyes, mouths, hair, hats, clothes, and skin color. There are also a variety of accessories to choose from, including Mr. Hat, and even a wide assortment of weapons for some strange reason.

If you want to save your picture you'll have to do a screengrab, so if you're not sure how to do that make sure you read the instructions on the site's help file before you begin. I accidentally erased my first character when I clicked on the help file.

In less than fifteen minutes I came up with this Stone/Parker-esque representation of me facing yet another dreary Vancouver evening. It's probably the closest thing to a picture of myself I'll ever post, so enjoy!



PS - Two months without a blog entry, then I suddenly make posts on consecutive days! What's up with that? Obviously my urge to blog comes and goes, so no more promises about posting often or trying to stay on a certain topic. If I have something I want to share with someone and there's no one around to talk to except my cat, I may blog. Or I may not.