Einstein Must Be Rolling Over In His Grave

Thanks to this site every half-wit with a juvenile sense of humour (like me) can use poor Albert's image to make silly jokes. I almost feel guilty for doing this.




I said almost.



Now I'm definitely feeling guilty. And a little ashamed. But mostly sleepy, so I'm done for now. I wonder where I can find that church sign generator...

"The Star Titness"... I mean Witness!

A Work In Undress
(I mean progress)



Sergeant Peterson took one last look into the hotel room, then shut the door and turned to an obviously distracted Detective Wilkins.

“Sir, is it true what they’re saying down at the precinct?”

“What are they saying?”

“That she saw her husband hacked up with a meat cleavage.”

“Cleaver?”

“Right. Cleaver.”

"That’s right, Wilkins. The killer’s on the loose and she’s our only witness, so make sure you garter - I mean guard her carefully."

"Yes, sir. I'll do my breast. I mean best!"

"I know you will, Wilkins. You've never been negligee in your boobies."

"Sir?"

"Duties! Negligent in your duties."

"Oh. Spank you, sir. I mean thank you, sir."

"You're on your own until midnight, so keep your thighs -I mean eyes peeled, and make sure you call for backside - I mean backup if you see anyone lingerieing about."

"Uh, lingering, sir?"

"Yes, lingering."

Sergeant Patterson heaved a sigh, removed his hat, and wiped his sweaty brow.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go masturbate."

"Sir?"

"You heard me."

Random Images + Silly Captions = Cheap Laughs

In an effort to make this blog a going concern, I will begin to post images I find on the net and silly captions to go along with them. It's kept Weekend Update going for 25 years, so maybe I can get some mileage out of it, too.

I'll try to do one a day, and I'll start things off with a picture featuring multiple captions. Hopefully you'll get a giggle or two out of them.

"Whistler's Mother? She was a demon in the sack."

or...

"What's so special about this 'abstract art' crap. Every damn picture looks like a cataract."

or...

Kurt knew that Grampa was forever lost to senility after he spent twenty minutes asking Gainsborough's The Blue Boy to pull his finger.